Principles of Negotation

At some point or another, almost all of us have been in situations in our lives where we needed to negotiate something. These vary in importance: sometimes negotiation comes into play when significant amounts of money are at stake—the price of a new home, for example. At other times, negotiation revolves around much more trivial things, like who will do the dishes after dinner.

Regardless of what you're negotiating, the principles of how to negotiate are inherently the same. Effective communication, the ability to be patient, and respect for the other party's fears and concerns are all effective tools that you can employ to ensure that you walk away with exactly what you desire.

At the same time, you should be mindful of things to avoid. Negotiation is, for many, seen as a passive-aggressive act, so it's easy for one's emotions to get in the way of achieving the ultimate goal.

Negotiation is also a valued skill in the workplace and part of learning and development. The following are some simple things you should do your best to avoid whenever you discuss any important topic.

Lack of Collaboration

All negotiations require some degree of collaboration. Collaboration is the essence of negotiation itself. We often rely heavily on compromise, but through compromise, something is always being left off the table. It's important to think about how to reach the goals of all parties, together.

Try your best to see things from the other person's point of view, even when that seems impossible. No matter what the discussion entails or how stubborn and uncompromising the person sitting across from you may seem, remember, there is something they want to achieve as well.

A negotiation isn't a battle. Take the other party's reasoning into consideration and try to understand it as best you can.

Not Listening

Whenever we head into a conversation to negotiate terms, we're often so set on our wants that we have trouble listening to the other person's views.

It might cause you anger or anxiety to hear what the other party is saying, and as a result, you may naturally block them out and stop paying attention. While to a certain extent this is a natural reaction, it's something that you must be mindful to avoid at all costs.

The best way to counter this emotion is by asking questions. Set a mental timer in your head, and politely ask questions at set intervals throughout the conversation. Not only does this show the other party that you value their opinion, but also that you're open to dialogue.

Lack of Preparation

While a negotiation should not be mistaken for an outright hostile act, there's no denying that you face an opponent whenever you come to the table. Therefore, it's vital to prepare by doing all the research you can on the person you'll be negotiating with. Be prepared by researching all the information relevant to the topic you're discussing as well to ensure you don't lose the upper hand in the conversation.

Goals, desires and results should all be considered before you even utter the first word. It’s even helpful to have peripheral information—things that might not even be directly related to the selected topic—in your head just in case they might come up. Remember, it's better to have the knowledge in your head and not need it than not have it at all.

Self-Doubt

We've all heard the phrase, "Confidence is key," but some adages really are true. When negotiating, perhaps the single most important factor for success is confidence. Confidence often comes from experience, but being prepared for the negotiation will increase your confidence level regardless of experience.

Self-assurance makes you appear more assertive and knowledgeable. Beyond that, it'll give you a level of conviction that'll allow you to stand up for what you want to achieve. There is simply no room for self-doubt when negotiating with another person or company. Always believe in yourself, your abilities and your potential.

Letting Your Emotions Get the Best of You

As I said earlier, negotiation can often turn into a passive-aggressive act. Even if we don't want to admit it, it's easy for our emotions to overwhelm us. This can cause anger and frustration, leading us to lose focus, being unable to articulate our thoughts properly and the entire conversation falling apart.

This will undoubtedly result in you acting irrationally and possibly even missing your opportunity to achieve your goals because the other party will have no doubt that they achieved the upper hand.

Identify what you're feeling and neutralize it. The one element of any negotiation you will always have control over is your emotions. A trained negotiator always enters the conversation calmly and maintains that demeanor until the discussions conclude.

Similar to how a home economics class can equip you with cooking skills that translate to life skills, negotiation training and tips give you life skills that can apply to many different aspects of life and your career.

Knowing how to negotiate can help you build confidence, ensure you’re getting a fair deal, compromise/find the middle ground, increase your ability to listen, and hone your strategic planning and develop interpersonal skills. Not only will these skills lead you to success, but they might also lead to creating and developing lasting relationships with other employees, companies and more.